Some of these are clever, some will make you groan, others will make your laugh.
I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. ….For fingering A minor.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity and I can’t put it down.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job? She couldn’t control her pupils?
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I tried to catch some fog. But I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro – what a rip off!
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.