Posts Tagged ‘Reader’s Digest’

“Our colleague, a frequenter of pubs, applied for a vanity license plate that would cement his reputation as the ‘bar king.’” A week later, he arrived to work with his new plates: BARKING.” – Nancy Send, Interlochen Michigan, Reader’s Digest @Work

 “A customer walked into our electronics store and asked, ‘Can you show me an ovulating fan?’ I was tongue-tied but another clerk wasn’t. ‘You don’t want one,’ he told her. “They work only oce a month.” – James Richards, Omak Washington, Reader’s Digest @Work

“Feeling some discomfort, I complained to my wife: ‘My wedding ring is cutting off my circulation.’ ‘Good,’ she said. ‘That’s what it’s supposed to do.’” – Larry Trotter, Hartselle, Alabama, Reader’s Digest Life’s Funny

From Reader’s Digest Sept/2017

Let me “run” this by you:

Run is the most complicated word in the English language. It has only 3 letters but more than 645 potential meanings, gives its chief competitors, set and put a run for their money. According to the Oxford English Dictionary editor, it took nine months of work to record all possibilities (a “run” of a pregnancy!).

So how long of a list can you run off?

Fun With Words

Posted: January 11, 2018 in Fun with words
Tags: , ,

From Reader’s Digest 9-2017, Life in These United States

The game card said: “Name three wars.” My daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” – Amy Casella

“As my brother and a nurse filled out paperwork following the birth of his daughter, he was asked for her name.

‘Kelsey Noelle,’ he answered.

The nurse was confused: ‘How do you spell Kelsey with no L?’ ”

Readers Digest – Ann Kelley, Nashua, NH

“While teaching Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, I asked a student to quote a line from the play. His choice was: ‘Beware the March of Dimes’.” – Ruie Pritchard, Reader’s Digest

“ ‘Wow!’ said my tween daughter. She was reading the nutrition label on a bag of cheese curls. ‘These must be loaded with cholesterol. The label lists it as Omg!’
My tween son took a look. ‘That’s zero milligrams, not Oh My God’. ” – Readers Digest

How time changes the meaning of acronyms

 

“After one of my students acted up, I took him to our school psychiatrist, who asked if he had ADHD. ‘No,’ said the boy. ‘I just have a normal TV’ ”.

Matthew Huges, in the humor section of the Readers Digest