Fun With Words

Why proofreading is important – these came from actual church bulletins:
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other
items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple
children.
.
Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person you want remembered.
.
The church will host an evening of fine dining,
super entertainment and gracious hostility.
.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of
every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing
in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come
prepared to sin.
.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would lend him their electric girdles for
the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s
Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM. The
congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
.
The Priest unveiled the church’s new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”

Quote of the Week

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”- Albert Einstein

Fun With Words – grammar bloopers from church bulletins

Thank God for church ladies with errant keyboard skills. These sentences
actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting &Prayer Conference includes meals.
.
The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.”
The sermon tonight “Searching for Jesus.”
.
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been
canceled due to a conflict.
.
Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way
again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
.
For those of you who have children and don’t know
it, we have a nursery downstairs.
.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
church hall. Music will follow.
.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Quote of the Week

“There will never be another now – I’ll make the most of today.
There will never be another me -I’ll make the most of myself.” – Helen Keller